The Universe Will Guide You, or How I Won Two Three-Day Passes to Lollapalooza

I've been blessed with such fucking amazing luck lately. From my job giving me the out (and a severance to boot, literally) to quickly scoring a new job as a paid blogger to the front pit tickets to Lady Gaga next month to the $10 voyage de serendipity to New Orleans, the universe is really looking out for me these days. Another sign: I won a fucking Lollapalooza contest and a set of 3-day passes. SUPER BOLD ITALICS UNDERLINED WTF YALL!?!

So Lady Gaga is a headliner at Lollapalooza in Chicago this year, and of course Meghan, Jenny and I pledged to go. I didn't buy my ticket before my job sitch got shady, though, and at lunch yesterday was talking to Jenny about it. "I'm afraid I won't be able to afford it," I told her. She nodded in agreement—she hadn't bought her ticket yet either, we're both dirt poor, and a three-day pass itself is $215. Big money.

So when Lolla sponsored a contest with the band CutCopy last week, I knew this would be my chance. The idea was to print out the Lollapalooza logo and other little creatures associated with the festival and then scan them in with your face in some kind of creative way. As an example, here's (fellow winner) Ben's sweet ass entry:


Very cool. (See other winners (INCLUDING ME! WTF!?) here.) But I don't work in an office, I don't have a printer, and I certainly don't have a scanner. What's a poor young designer to do?

As soon as I read about the contest an idea popped into my head: I'd speak the word "Lollapalooza" slowly on video, profile, wearing shades, in front of a blank canvas, then cut it frame by frame, mess with it in Photoshop and Illustrator, put the letters of the Lolla logo into a speech bubble as my mouth moved, then ram it all together into an animated GIF file. I didn't know if it followed the rules or not—they only explicitly mentioned the copier once, and it wasn't anywhere in the "official rules"—so I just did it.

Here, check out the raw video:

And now here's what I entered, post-chopping-coloring-cutting-copying-drawing-animating:

A week later, here comes this DM from Lollapalooza headquarters itself:

Followed by this conversation with Jenny, who was still online, even at midnight:

Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Zachary: OMFG
Jenny: wow
Zachary: i wont the lolla thing
Zachary: WON, i mean
Zachary: WON
Jenny: WHAT
Jenny: are you fucking kidding me?!
Zachary: no!!!
Jenny: of course you did
Zachary: i just got a DM!!!
Jenny: jesus of course
Zachary: hold on let me make sure it's two passes
Zachary: i think it's two
Jenny: fucking christ
Zachary: YES
Zachary: IT'S TWO
Zachary: TWO THREE DAY PASSES
Zachary: YES YES YES JENNY
Zachary: YESSSSSSS
Zachary: OMFG
Jenny: FUCKING RIGHT
Zachary: i have to call you
Jenny: I"M SOOOO EXCITED I WANT TO GO OUT FOR A DRINK
Jenny: hahahahaha

So, yeah, basically there is no greater sign that I am supposed to be at Lollapalooza, that the universe supports me, that I'm on the right track.

Fucking right, y'all. Now THAT'S how I play this game.